my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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