p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
