Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
