and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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