WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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