I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
