Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
