The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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