Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
