I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
