I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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