he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
