this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
