i need an iv and a liver transplant
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
