If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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