Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
did i walk over a car last night?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
