I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
