my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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