just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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