Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize