when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
