Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
