Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
