Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
