hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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