went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
