Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
