now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
