if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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