Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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