The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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