you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
