Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
