its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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