How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
