last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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