i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
