Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
