how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize