HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
