The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
