listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm at about main and main street
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
