Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
