bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
