I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
