I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
