More tranny stories later!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
FUCK WHALES
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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