Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
