i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
