high people should be assigned attendants
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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