my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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