So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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