Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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