I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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